“Making sense and being present: That’s what showing up is all about.”

This quote from chapter two is a great introduction to our week. While the rest of the book talks about specific strategies and ways of being present for our children, this week slows us down and asks us to take a look inward…into ourselves and our own early life experiences. Early we are presented two questions and two answers: "What produces deep and lasting success for kids? A secure attachment to a caregiver who shows up. How do we provide that secure attachment? First, by developing a coherent narrative that makes sense of our own early life experiences."

 

Helping us take our first steps in developing what the authors call a "coherent narrative", Siegel and Payne Bryson walk us through the four attachment styles. Sometimes, this can sound really "technical" and we can easily get lost. But, we hear four different renditions of a childhood knock-knock joke we all know from our childhood that helps us find our way. This was a really fun way for me to think about my parent's child rearing strategies. I can't wait to see what you think.

For some of us reading together this summer, we may consider for the first time that our early life experiences have left us without a secure attachment. For others, maybe you've known this all along, but feel stuck and unsure how to show up for your own children. Have no fear! Have you ever heard of the concept of "earned secure attachment"? Even if you didn't receive secure attachment in childhood, you can still learn and earn attachment! That earned attachment can be passed down to others you have relationships with. This is worth getting excited about!!!

Let’s make this summer the summer of showing up!

-Leslie

 Here are a few things to think about as you read this week:

  • How did your parents respond to you when you were experiencing difficult emotions?

  • How did your parents respond to you when you were experiencing joy?

  • Have you made sense of your past?

  • Do you find yourself defaulting to parenting your children the same ways you were parented, even when you wish you wouldn’t?